categories

364 12 2006

presentation

break down the traditions and tropes of art and presenting art.
do it with some functional things tacked onto the 'sculpture', playing with our expectations, with color, materials, the pedestal, preciousness, take advantage of the permissions granted by those before me.

337 12 2006

letters

use them and numbers too.

qwertyuiop
asdfghjkl
zxcvbnm

1234567890

336 12 2006

popcorn

do something with packing peanuts.

321 11 2006

reflected image

a way of changing our idea of something.
mirror image and equal but opposite.
_
a funhouse is a reflection

301 10 2006

NOMA

i owe LANGDON GRAVES for this.

NOMA =
NO More Art
NO Modern Art

inquire within for membership

289 10 2006

nouns and verbs

make verbs not nounds. try to do something don't do something. try to find don't find.

217 08 2006

exercise all options

accomodate all options in the consumer arena. get all nine flavors.

182 07 2006

future family

obsessions / hobbies / activities

shopping, sex, food, school, fashion, vacation, work

171 06 2006

_fan power

if we ever sell t-shirts i want to show them on a wall held in place by a fan.

170 06 2006

_Bouldering

go out and boulder all of the public art sculptures.
rate them and make a guide.
photo as well.

161 06 2006

_windowless

take a wall and make it look as if light is coming through a window that doesn't exist and hitting that wall.

152 06 2006

_ding fries are done.

my old best friend sent me this ding fries are done!. thanks ben. oh and nick gave me this: winning culture.

151 05 2006

_last supper / part two

david torch and i were emailing yesterday and he brought up a project we had discussed before concerning the last supper. well we came up with an alternative. find out what these last suppers are and remake them. blaaaDow!

then figure out where to go from there.
maybe feed them to people we hate! bwa ha ha.

150 05 2006

_three arms one body. that's what i call evolution.

mn_boy_bej803.jpg

click here for an explanation

140 05 2006

_dartboard

steal dartboard image.

138 05 2006

_god's work

these are the words i use to explain my practice. i am doing god's work.

130 05 2006

_don't buy art day

go to chelsea and board up all of the gallery doors. keep people from seeing the art. keep people from buying the art. see what happens if nobody can get to the art in chelsea. my guess is nothing.

124 05 2006

_war memorial

go to the war memorial. find the letters in my name within the names on the wall. make a rubbing that spells out my name.

102 04 2006

_my assistants

take all of my clothes but first just start with my current outfit. find out who actually made each item. get the names of all of them. put the outfit out on the floor in some shape or figure that references something. put them as the author of the work.

101 04 2006

_regeneration station

cut your finger off and see if it grows back.

Missing Limb? Salamander May Have Answer

By ANDREW POLLACK
Published: September 24, 2002
In a closetlike room at the ''Leg Lab'' here, salamanders stare blankly out of clear plastic drinking cups. The lab is so named because many of the animals have had, or will have, a leg cut off. But the salamanders recover, with perfect new limbs growing back in weeks.

Salamanders are the superstars of regeneration. They can grow back not only limbs but also tails, parts of their hearts and the retinas and lenses in their eyes. Humans cannot do any of that. So scientists here hope that the salamander's tricks may one day be applied to people.

''I really do believe it's just a matter of time before you're going to regenerate an arm or at least a finger,'' said Dr. David M. Gardiner, a biologist who runs the laboratory at the University of California at Irvine with Dr. Susan V. Bryant, the dean of biological sciences and his wife. ''I'd like to see that in my lifetime.''

Regenerative medicine, regrowing or repairing damaged organs, has become a hot topic. Almost all the attention has focused on stem cells. The idea is to grow stem cells outside the body, turn them into particular types of tissue and transplant them into patients.

097 04 2006

_scratch and sniff

check the paint
they have glow in the dark paint too.

075 03 2006

_fictionesty

people have no way of determining what is true and what is false. what is fiction and what is not. what is honest and what is dishonest. what is real and what is fake. we all have the power to lie and manipulate. we all have the power to paint of a picture of our experience in any way we want. we all have the power to do whatever we want.

069 03 2006

_naked

put up a wall that has places for the arms and hands. some go from this side to that and some got from that side to this. you can't see through the wall and you are wearing a mask so you can't talk. you touch or try to touch the person on the other side.

this is lame. i'd rather make it about my college girlfriend. we never did it.

_experiments in human relations


030 01 2006

_under the sheets

make a bed. small or big. have a sheet on it and make something under the sheet go up and down. can there be some kind of bi-product?

the miniature:
keeps the work away from
- pornographic associations.
- hyper-personalization
-
but allows it to
- be personable
- at a certain distance

029 01 2006

_aging

make work about aging.
(life and death)

024 01 2006

_infinite burger

make a machine that overpowers the superpower. make a machine that turns out more burgers than mcdonalds. rival the superpower.

just constantly flip a burger. over and over and over again.

019 01 2006

_screenshot

make things with screen shots. yeah it's that easy.

012 01 2006

_Snot-Nosed

003 01 2006

_wait

coming soon.

_Idea for a book

its beginning is its end.
maybe it has one page

_Missing

go missing.
in the form of posters. flyers. milk cartons, paper ad, police report.

_I am Your Daddy

james earl jones reads the bible. james earl jones is darth vader.

crop the empire strikes back down to the dialogue of darth and whomever. insert james earl jones reading the bible into the soundtrack. allow the response of the character talking to vader to be heard and apart of the reading. get a version of jones reading it without the music in the background. insert star wars soundtrack in its place.

loop it.
(maybe one isolated scene that loops of vader in his chair) or all the scenes where the siths are addressing people.

maybe adjust the speed of the person responding to vader.
super slow or fast.

oh shit that scene where he touches that guy and he dies. perfect.


In the first two films released in the series, Vader is portrayed as the epitome of pure evil — a mass murderer and war criminal who holds an entire galaxy under the sway of an evil empire.


The New Testament, sometimes called the Greek Testament or Greek Scriptures, and, in recent times, also New Covenant, is the name given to the part of the Christian Bible that was written after the birth of Jesus. It includes four ancient biographies of Jesus (called Gospels), a history of the early Christians (the book of Acts), early letters (epistles) written by Christian leaders, and Christian prophecies (the Apocalypse, also called the book of Revelation).

_Jesus : The Healer

345 12 2005

_have you considered writing

Medium
• text

Intent
• challenge visual imagery with written word. it's like setting up a title against the work.

The Work
•Status: Concept.
- describe a work and what it is suppose to do in words. present the words in a portrait or maybe landscape format. maybe text on plexi. some form similar to but opposite to the traditional support. make the words and the support and its intention clear as glass.

- so it may say something like, "This is supreme beauty!", "This is absolutely amazing!", "This is shit."

_Upside Down Inside Out

Medium
• Room in a room with miscellaneous objects (what kind of room)

Intent
• right now its just to literally show life from death's perspective
(what question am i asking? do i need to? and what's wrong with being an artist that makes literal work? it's reduced to representation, which is a matter of technical skill / collingwood)
- i suppose it's suppose to invert your perception almost like anti-gravity.
The Work
•Status: Concept.
-

344 12 2005

_These walls can speak

Medium
• Sculpture / interactive

Intent
• show something

The Work
•Status: Concept.
- use that thing that can hear through walls.
- technology giving super powers to humans.

343 12 2005

_Emaculate Injection

Medium
• ?

Intent

The Work
•Status: Concept.
- make jesus born from artificial insemination.

_Wrecking Ball

Medium
• Pizza, broccoli, garlic, etc.

Intent
• i dont know

The Work
•Status: Concept.
- A big ball of pizza is swinging around the room

339 12 2005

_Action (Hero)

338 12 2005

_Schizophrenic Phonetic

Medium
• Text and audio

Intent
• N/A

The Work
•Status: Concept.
- Use variations of the quote "I will shut this down! I will shut this thing down! I will shut down! Shut down!" in the form of audio paired with visuals.

_Glaucoma (persona)

Medium
• Performance / Video

Intent
• N/A

The Work
•Status: Concept.
- Two groups of people. Two rooms. One group will be in a room where they are blinded by the light. The other group will be in a room where they are blinded by the dark.

333 11 2005

_Rent for private party

Medium
• Grave in a cemetery

Intent
• Change the role of the grave. Use it as a normal piece of real estate would be used.

The Work
•Status: Concept.
- Purchase a grave.
- Rent it out for private parties.
- Create headstones for me and others.

_Ressurrection

Medium
• Dead bird and moving air

Intent
• Create miracles.

The Work
•Status: Concept.
- A dead bird will fly.
it will be levitating, pulsating, in a purgatorial state between life and death. preserved forever. in flight forever. dead forever.
what if it were submerged in a tank of preservatives with electronics going into the tank making the wings move.

_Trophy

Medium
• Sculpture

nah nah nah nah
cast everyones head in the program and mount it on a plaque.

stretch there skin like a hide.


Intent
• to reify a myth is to kill it.
to reveal something about mythical figures. why we construct them. how we construct them. how they operate. what there role is. why do we insist on an idolatrous worship of mythical figures, myth and perfection in general?

The Work
•Status: Concept.
Myth |miθ| noun 1 a traditional story, esp. one concerning the early history of a people or explaining some natural or social phenomenon, and typically involving supernatural beings or events. • such stories collectively : the heroes of Greek myth. 2 a widely held but false belief or idea : he wants to dispel the myth that sea kayaking is too risky or too strenuous | there is a popular myth that corporations are big people with lots of money. • a misrepresentation of the truth : attacking the party's irresponsible myths about privatization. • a fictitious or imaginary person or thing. • an exaggerated or idealized conception of a person or thing : the book is a scholarly study of the Churchill myth. ORIGIN mid 19th cent.: from modern Latin mythus, via late Latin from Greek muthos.

- Capture and kill all mythical figures. Should their perfection be supported or denied. I think they should all have problems. they should all have things that our contemporary culture have coined as problematic. things ranging from bad skin (wrinkles, acne), weight problems (fat as all hell, skinny as a skeleton),
- what about imperfect people who have gained mythical status? the devil and hitler

- Big Foot - mysterious
- Jesus - never sinned
- Loch Ness Monster
- Unicorn - rare, perfect, powerful, graceful,
- Superman (nah... what hero has no alter-ego. maybe superman is the one. he always has equal power. same with spiderman) - strong, moral, courageous, nobil, and they wear costumes. A strong moral code, including a willingness to risk one's own safety in the service of good without expectation of reward.
A special motivation, such as a sense of responsibility (e.g. Spider-Man), a strong sense of justice (e.g. Captain America) a formal calling (e.g., Captain Marvel) or a personal vendetta against criminals (e.g., The Punisher)
A secret identity that protects the superhero’s friends and family from becoming targets of his or her enemies. Most superheroes use a descriptive or metaphoric codename for their public deeds.
A flamboyant and distinctive costume (see Common costume features).
An underlining motif or theme that affects the hero’s name, costume, personal effects and other aspects of his character (e.g., Batman resembles a large bat, calls his headquarters the "Batcave" and his specialized automobile, which also looks bat-like, the "Batmobile")
A trademark weapon (e.g., Wonder Woman’s "Lasso of Truth," Captain America’s shield)
A supporting cast of recurring characters including the hero's friends, co-workers and/or love interests, who may or may not know of the superhero's secret identity. Often the hero's personal relationships are complicated by his/her dual life.
An archenemy or a number of enemies that s/he fights repeatedly. Often a nemesis is a superhero’s opposite or foil (e.g., Sabretooth embraces his savage instincts while Wolverine battles his)
Has either independent wealth (e.g., Batman or the X-Men's benefactor Professor X) or an occupation that allows for minimal supervision (e.g., Superman's civilian job as a reporter).
A secret headquarters or base of operations (e.g., Superman's Fortress of Solitude).
An "origin story" that explains the circumstances by which the character acquired his/her abilities as well as his/her motivation for fighting evil. Many back stories involve tragic elements and/or freak accidents that result in the development of the hero's abilities.

- Santa Claus - altruistic, (costume)

put them all together in a trophy formation mount there heads and or bodies on the wall like trophy deer.

why do we build these characters?
how do we live through them?
why do they have to be perfect?
- perfect in form.
what do i want to reveal about them?
is there something perverted?
are they as pure as we make them out to be?
are they impostors?

why do we hunt for trophies?
kill them in a way that makes me seem more heroic.
present them in a way that makes me look more heroic.

_King and Queen

Medium
• Cubed cardboard

Intent
• Build extravagant beds for the homeless that elevate their things to "ours".

The Work
•Status: Concept.
- What are the homeless people waiting for? The opportunity to have a luxurious bed set is there.
what do i want to show or reveal?
i want to show a glorious bed made of shit materials.

332 11 2005

_Rhytidectomy

Medium
• silicone

Intent
• modify everyones face in the program. give them all a mask that has a pipe going up their ass.

The Work
•Status: Concept.
- eat shit.

_Trained According To Natural Law

Medium
• n/a

Intent
• n/a

The Work
•Status: Concept.
- Hair can be styled according to the natural law. gravity can pull it one way or another based on the way in which it grows from your scalp.
- Hair can be styled according to human law (artificial law). It can be styled with combs, brushes, moose, spray, etc.

_Ecco Homo

Medium
• sculpture

Intent
• ?

The Work
•Status
- Concept.
The translation of 'ecco homo' is "behold the man" john 19:5

_Drip Feed

Medium
• Clear pants, tube and gas mask

Intent
• suck it.

The Work
•Status: Prototype.


It smells like shit in here.

315 11 2005

_Shy

Medium
• Electronics, programming, and traditional portraiture

Intent
• Make a shy picture that avoids a strictly visual representation of shyness. Give traditional portraiture body language. Take the tradition of portraiture to a new place.

The Work
•Status: Concept.
- wall piece(s)
simple, traditional, portrait photographs (up for debate)
or
do video projection. have a series of recorded video sequences that respond to your position. they can turn away or look down or hide completely or peek into the frame.
24"x24" or so.

each one involves some physical computing
sensors integrated into the support of the portrait.
sensors (sonar) that react to the position of people viewing
sensors that control the piece with motors.
control them in a way that makes them shy or gives them body language.
the piece will turn away from the people trying to view it.

210 07 2005

_Smileys

Medium
• performance.

Intent
• Set up a interactions between traditional types of communication and the nuances of instant messaging. OMG WTF! :) :( ;)

The Work
•Status: Concept.
- this is a collaboration with Nick Furnazi, formerly of The Chapterhouse gallery, Reno.
- We want to have a series of life size 'smiley' expressions that we can wear. We will put them on and partake in everyday experiences. Buying coffee, going grocery shopping and making love. We wont speak to communicate. We will use the expressions used in instant messaging to communcate our feelings.

136 05 2005

_Disease/Aging

Medium
• unknown.

Intent
• study disease and aging in contemporary american culture. (anything sounds good with that lame ending)

The Work
•Status: Concept.
- Getting old has become an international epidemic. We address aging as if it were a disease. We have cures and remedies to cure or slow its effects despite the facts that aging is a fact of life.

123 05 2005

_One Size Fits All

Medium
• clothing.

Intent
•unknown.

The Work
•Status: Concept.
- print this on a T-shirt or Tattoo it on your skin.

122 05 2005

_15000

Medium
• unknown.

Intent
• unkown.

The Work
•Status: Concept.
- art history goes back 15000 years. html code only since the early 1990's. art is old. what is new and why? what?

009 01 2005

Can't Feel Love

Medium
• Undecided

Intent
• I want to set something up that asks what it feels like or suggests what it feels like so there will be no mistake when it comes to deciding whether or not you are feeling love.
• I want to describe love as being a haptic sensation as opposed to an emotional sensation. I think all of us feel pressure to fall in love.


The Work
•Status
- Concept.

Continue reading "Can't Feel Love" »

001 01 2005

Length of My Life Thus Far

Medium
• Undecided

Intent
• show the length of my life thus far.

Formal Concept
• n/a

The Work
• Status
- Concept.
• Our lives are measured in time. I want to show this measurement as an object. I want it to be literal and accurate. I'm afraid that the final object will be a distance. I want to translate time into a physical thing by using a simple equation such as, the number of miles traveled over a period of time determines miles per hour (mph). I have lived almost 26 years (1yr = 8760hours. 26yrs = 227760hrs.) Traveling 100 mph for 26years would cover 22776000 miles.

(ex:a car tire hooked to a motor moving at 100 mph (revolutions per second converted to mph) in a wheel spinning for 22776000 miles)

Continue reading "Length of My Life Thus Far" »

363 12 2004

maservent

Medium
• concept

Intent
• I just wanted to explore the idea of Master and Servant as a single entity.

The Work
• Status: concept
- What better example of Master and Servant as a single entity than the act of masterbation. You are at once master and servant, giver and receiver, preditor and prey. It's a perfect asexual synergy. This goes back to the mobius strip and "Mobiusware". The folding or wrapping of a single surface that defines both inside and outside, public and private.

Continue reading "maservent" »

246 09 2004

144,000

Medium
• Undecided.

The Work
• According to the Book of Revelation, 144 000 souls will be chosen by God to go to Heaven. they will be the richest souls. real estate aint cheap up there.

096 04 2004

Noah's Ark (The End of All Flesh)

Medium
• Cremated remains of animals

Intent
• to make a sculpture

The Work
• Status
- Concept (contacted animal crematorium in Nevada by email and recieved no response/07.Aug.2004)
- contacted a few more in new york. One to follow up on.
• Noah's Ark marked "The end of all flesh..." in the eye's of God (genesis 6:11-13). This project will go on for 120 years.
• According to the Bible an interval of 120 years elapsed while the ark was being built. Noah was over 500 years old when he began construction. He was 600 when the flood came. He had 3 sons.
• One critical part of the piece is that each animal type is represented in pairs. If you know who will cremate a mass number of animals let me know.
- it will be a massive block. that block will be made of many pairs of smaller boxes. each pair of boxes will house the cremated remains of animals.
or
- it will be pairs of lifeboats made from the remains of the different animals.

011 01 2004

In The Garden

Medium
• Installation (updated 15 Sept 2005)

Intent
• Overlap the idea of evolution with creation in a more contemporary context with some humor.

The Work
•Status
- ordered suit, need grass, table, computer and chair.
• (original idea) The image and the title combine to suggest that Adam and Eve were monkeys. In this image, which is just a poster that i found, you see two monkeys with their arms thrown over each others shoulder and a slight grin on there faces. They appear to be almost human.


- started over. i ordered the ape suit. use the suit and some type of alternate image to imply or make a clone so there is two of us. the fake image makes the whole thing an impossibility.
- build the 'garden' or define it in some type of context. (medicinal, biblical, educational, primitive, or some combination of them all or just two)
- the image of eve could be contemporary pornography. it could be a projection of a film. (what film?) or it could just be the ape at the computer cruising the porn on the web. Instead of using the apple use the banana (how many?).
- set up a mirror behind the figure to make a clone of him.
- to click through the web and add some motion just make a fullscreen slideshow made up of screen shots from different websites.

work

statistics

    nick van woert
    whateveryourwant (at) fourteensquarefeet . com

    Height: 5184 pixels
    Hair: #462D06
    Eyes: #663213
© 2006 nick van woert
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